Tuesday 28 April 2009

Dinner with my kids


It was dinner time. My husband was busy with IPL match. So it was just kids and me at the table for dinner. Since Shruthi and Swathi’s interest towards finishing their homework seemed to decline, I thought I would initiate the topic of how education is so important to our lives. I thought if I make the concept of education very clear, I can make them realize the importance of concentrating on their day-to-day school assignments.

Me: Listen girls! I just wanted to tell you something for a very long time. I was just waiting for the right time to speak this up to you both.

Shruthi and Swathi: What's that?

Me: A career is very important for each one of us. To survive in this world, we all need to hold a decent job.

Shruthi: (She spoke as she contained the food in her mouth) - Then why is it that you are still at home? Why don’t you have a job?

Me: (I did not know how to deal with this unexpected question) - That’s because I now have the responsibility of taking care of you two at home.

Swathi: Then why are you applying for jobs?

Me: (Oh God! How come they know many things?) - That’s because I think that you guys are big enough to manage things on your own. That is why Daddy asked me to look for a job.

Shruthi: Mummy, tell me one thing – who should decide about my job?

Me: Undoubtedly you, darling!

Shruthi: Will my husband interfere and ask me to take care of my kids when I grow up?

Me: He need not interfere. You will willfully stay back if you have to take care of your kids. Sometimes you need not stay back either if you have a responsible person to take care of your kids.

Shruthi: Mummy, I am going to name my daughter “Latika”

Me: (These girls are moving away from the topic!) - Wow! That’s a good name!

Swathi: I will name my daughters Varsha, Shreya, Lalita and I have thought of more names. Did you like these names Ma?

Me: (Oh God!!!??) – Indeed, nice names! Now, let me come to the point. I mean to say that we all have to have a job in hand.

Shruthi: Ok, so?

Me: Only if you study well, you will get good job.

Shruthi: All who are having jobs were good students at school?

Me: (hope she doesn’t understand the reverse to be true and try to figure out that to be the reason why I am at home :)) – Yes. If we all study well, we will get good marks and if we get good marks, we will get a good job and if you get a good job, you will be paid well and you can buy anything you want with that money. Now, how does that shound?

Shruthi: That sounds nice but I have a trouble here.

Me: What is that?

Shruthi: I want to be a teacher and that too a drawing teacher and I don’t understand why a person who is going to be a drawing teacher should learn so many subjects like Maths, EVS, Moral Science, Computer Science and many others. Is it not enough if I learn to draw and maybe attend the Art class in Tarang?

[Tarang is an institute that teaches music, dance, art and such stuff and Shruthi has been asking my permission to join in the art class though she already is in music and dance]

Me: If you want to become a drawing teacher, then why would you learn music and dance? It is just like that.

Shruthi: I am learning them because a drawing teacher can sing at home and dance at parties. In fact, everybody should learn to dance.

(That is her theory probably - that everybody should learn to dance)

Me: Ok, leave that. You were once telling me that you want to be a Princess when you grow big. You changed that idea later on. Is it not?

Shruthi: Yes

Me: You also told me that you wanted to be a Physical Trainer in a school. You changed that too. Is it not?

Shruthi: Yes

Me: A child’s interest would keep on changing like this.

Swathi: When you were young, did you also have changing interests Mom?

Me: Yes, I too wanted to be a teacher and then I decided I would be a lawyer. Now again, coming to the point, when you turn 17 or 18, you would be able to clearly define what you want to become. So that is why we study the basics of all the subjects. That would be useful for us to choose what we want to become.

Shruthi: Maybe I will still say that I want to be a drawing teacher when I turn 18.

Me: That’s ok.

Shruthi: I have another problem here.

Me: Now what?

Shruthi: I haven’t heard of a teacher by name ‘Shruthi’

Swathi: That’s ok Shruthi. What is there in a name? Have you ever heard of a teacher by name ‘Jennifer’ before? And don’t we have a teacher by that name? So I think that’s not a problem.

(I was just laughing bending my head down)

Me: Shruthi, name is not a problem. What I want to say is that you girls are growing. I want you to be good at your studies so that you can choose your career at ease when you turn 18. For that, you need to be very serious with your day-to-day assignments and get good marks all through.

Shruthi: Ok

Me: What about you Swathi?

Swathi: I will also do my homework regularly.

Shruthi: (after a long pause) - Mom, I think you may be right. My interests are changing. Sometimes, I feel that I should be like Daddy working in a bank.

Swathi: Yes, Shruthi. Sometimes I too feel that I want to become a doctor.

Me :) :)

Shruthi: (after some time) - Mom! Will I be paid like Daddy when I become a drawing teacher?

Me: You will definitely be paid but not like Daddy.

Shruthi then began thinking deeply......

Sunday 26 April 2009

My Daughters - My Masters

My daughters – My Masters

I am not kidding. Life’s everyday problems seem to have a solution if I carefully observe my daughters’ approach to an issue. I am getting to learn a lot through them though not directly. Their behaviour is a living example for me to understand that life is not as complex as it seems but is only a pleasure to live in. There are several things that I have to learn from them.

1) A morning smile – I often fail to smile in the morning because of the loads of work I have to do in the morning hours. I carry all tensions within me and hence forget to smile. But their smile is my morning beverage. I may not always exchange a smile with them but I always am sure to receive one. Sometimes I wonder why I am too stingy to share some smiles with them in the morning hours.


2) Fresh start – My daughters (just like any other kids) never get reminded of what happened the previous day. Every day is a fresh day for them to live. They gaze at things as though they are getting to see it for the first time and admire it. I do get irritated at such a behaviour of theirs since I feel it is a waste of time. But they seem to find out a newer perception to the same thing when they view it again and again.

3) Honesty – Yes, all kids are honest or at least we can find out when they tell lies. At the same time, they cannot keep any secrets within them for a longer time.

4) Love for all – My daughters as of now have no preference for one over another. I am very happy about this point. They weigh everybody equally (and that includes me). They can miss anybody and still be happy. What a virtue is this!

5) Fighting and patching up – My daughters fight amongst themselves in such a way that I feel that I have to refer to parenting books to cover the topic ‘sibling rivalry’ but within no time they patch up leaving me in amazement.

6) Innocence – Their eyes gleam with innocence and their deeds just overflow in abundance with innocence. That is the best thing about them. They do not know what is to be spoken with whom. I once remember when one of them asked me loudly what my age was as we were shopping for clothes for me. She thought that the sizes mentioned there represents our age. Other people in the shop smiled at me and I too blushed. The beauty of a child is held intact as long as the innocence is retained I guess.

7) Care – I feel that my daughters’ care towards me is so genuine. They do not know to act or hide any feelings. They do things for me with care and decline to do it when they cannot spare that much care towards it. Whatever they do, is done with dedication.

8) Counseling – Sometimes I feel that my daughters can become better counselors. I am saying so based on one particular incident when they fully identified what the issue was and came up with the best solution and advised me to take things in the right way not making an issue out of it. I was stunned. At the same time I was glad.

I need not read scriptures to learn about virtues. I can just be with my kids and get a practical experience of a happy life. I am enjoying being their mother. They make me realize that happiness should be from within how much ever harsh the external surrounding may appear. Aren’t they my real masters?