What to believe?

With almost nothing at all to do this vacation in India, my girls resorted to entertain themselves by watching TV. Back in Abu Dhabi TV is taboo for them though they are allowed some prescribed hours during weekend to sit in front of it. I just left them loose this vacation to free myself away from them for a while.

My girls really enjoyed their time in front of the TV. They loved to munch some goodies too as they sat to watch cartoons. (It is needless to mention how they are pampered with eatables by their grandparents and relatives. The relatives believe that it is mandatory to expose us to their rich and grand culinary skills). I also noticed that they loved most of the advertisements that were screened. Their curiosity increases on watching the advertisements. They watch them without blinking their eyes.

Shruthi came to me and told, “I am confused”
Me: Why?
Shruthi: The advertisements are confusing me
Me: Why should they confuse you?
Shruthi: The advertisement for Dove shampoo is good and equally convincing is the advertisement for Sunsilk too. I liked ‘Head & Shoulders’ advertisement too. But all these are confusing me. How will I ever know who is telling the truth? Whom should I believe?
Me (Surprised within on the nature of her confusion): I am there for you. I will give you the right product
Shruthi: How will you decide?
Me: I will test them before giving it to you.

She then smiled at me and went away convinced.

Who is Greedy?

Almost every night, I read out some moral stories to my girls. Whether they follow it or not, I want to read out some morals to them and also how can they implement that moral in their practical life. Very recently, we covered the topic called ‘greed’. They were so excited about that particular topic mainly because they read the meaning of that word in their classroom. Immediately my girls said in chorus, “Ma! I know the meaning of greed. It is ‘excessive desire’.”

I appreciated them. I then quoted examples of greed. I told them that buying more and more toys when we already have lots is also an example of greed. When I read that story out, they also understood that one has to learn to be happy with what they have instead of brooding over things that they do not have.

The next day itself my girls were brooding over something that we did not get them and immediately I reminded her of the moral of the story that we read the previous night and told her, “this is called greed”. She understood and apologized up front. I was glad about the impact of the morals that I read out every day.

On the other hand, I have often noticed that every time I have a voice chat with my parents, my girls will come running to me with their complaints and problems not allowing me to talk with them at peace. I do not know why they demand my immediate attention every time I am on phone or when I am having a voice chat. It so happened today when I was having a voice chat with my parents, my girls interfered with all the problems they have with each other. Most of my time was spent in settling their disputes.

After completing the chat with my parents, I went to them. For some time, I sat next to them. They did not even bother to notice me. They were on their own drawing and writing something. I wondered why they do not have any allegations against each other when I am fully available. I have told them several times not to disturb me when I am on phone or chat but still they do. I felt it the right time to put an end to it and told them, “Girls! I really want to talk something to you both.”

Shruthi and Swathi: What’s that?
Me: Why is it that you always come to me with your problems when I am chatting?
Shruthi: Sorry Mommy. But Swathi is always irritating me.
Swathi was silent.
Me: Swathi, why do you choose a particular time to irritate her? Why don’t you irritate her now in my presence?
Swathi was still silent.
Me: Did you know that I was talking to my parents?
Both: Yes
Me: Look! You both have your parents with you all the time and you can talk with us whenever you want. But see, my parents are not with me.

The two behaved as though they understood what I was talking about. I thought I will gain their sympathy. But something different happened.

Swathi broke her silence. She said, “This is called greed.”

For a moment I sat puzzled. She continued, “You were reading out moral stories to us and teaching us how to be happy with what we have and now you are brooding over something that you don’t have.”

I burst into a heavy laughter. I also admired her innocence. On the other hand, I should also observe that my girls have the knack of blaming others even if they are wrong. :-)

The Comparison

It’s almost winter here and time for the skin to ask for more moisture. So I apply extra coat of Vaseline for my kids to retain some moisture in their body. My girls asked several questions on this as to why do our skin get dry during this period and why moisture is needed and the like. With my limited knowledge, I tried to tell them all that I knew.

Some days back, my girls came back home carrying a bird’s feather in their hand. They loved the very feel of its feathers.

One fine day, Swathi asked me, “How come a bird’s feather is soft in all seasons?”
Me: By nature it is soft
Swathi: Even without applying Vaseline, their skin remains soft, is it not? How is that possible?

For a moment I wondered what kinds of questions my kids have in their mind. What makes them compare their body with that of a bird? Do they feel that all God’s creations are similar? I then answered her, “it is because they cannot apply any moisturizer during any season that God has made their skin so soft during all seasons.”

She seemed to be convinced with the answer that I gave and I breathed a sigh of relief. But she did not stop there. She asked me, “Aren’t feathers a part of a bird’s body?”
Me: Undoubtedly
Swathi: Then how can it continue to fly after dropping this feather down? Does any of my body part fall down as I walk?

I was wondering why she is comparing again and again, but I found it my duty to find this answer out for her and came to know about molting. For Mothers who encounter such a question from their kid or for others who would like to know more about why a bird sheds a feather down, here is the answer that I collected from the internet.

Bird feathers do wear out. Once or twice a year, birds shed their old feathers and grow new ones. This process is called molting. Most birds molt in late summer or fall, after they have raised their young and before they migrate to their winter home.

As new feathers grow, they push out old ones. Most birds molt one feather from each wing at a time so they can keep their balance in the air. Many ducks and geese molt all flight feathers at once, so they can't fly for several weeks and must avoid predators by swimming away or hiding on islands. Most birds take weeks to grow a completely new coat of feathers.

Doubting God's Bountiful Resources

In order to inculcate some fear while doing something wrong, I just warned my kids that God is watching each one of us and has a record of what we all are doing. Immediately Swathi asked me with great wonderment, “All of us?”
Me: Yes
Shruthi: This world is too big and there are lots of people living. How can God watch each one of us?
Me: Didn’t you learn in Moral Science that He is all powerful, omnipresent and the like?
Shruthi: Yes
Me: So He is capable of watching each one of us
Swathi: Including you?
Me: Yes, including me

This moment I noticed some sense of relief in them. They probably got some assurance that they are not alone. To make it more understandable I tried explaining the same with illustrations that seem convenient for them. So I spoke, “God is having a chart for each one of us where He grades all our activities. If He notices you doing something good, He will stick a golden or a silver star on the ‘Good deeds’ column. If you do something bad, like not sharing things with each other or telling lies, then He will mark a big black dot on the ‘Bad deeds’ column. He will review it then and there to decide what you deserve. So we have to be careful with every step that we take since we are always being watched.”

Swathi (still not convinced that God could watch everybody): Will God watch adults also for sure?
Me: Yes, I said that He watches each one of us
Shruthi (from her part): Even strangers on the road?
Me: Yes. Nobody is excluded. ALL are being watched.

Finally, the biggest doubt emerged from Swathi’s mind. She asked me, “Does God have enough chart paper to record everybody’s good and bad deeds?”

No longer a Fancy

The date for ‘Fancy Dress’ competition was announced at school. But this time Shruthi showed the least interest in participating. Last year, I dressed Shruthi as a Fairy Godmother and Swathi as Japanese. Shruthi had a big dialogue to tell too but unfortunately, Shruthi did not get a prize but Swathi won. Shruthi was indeed disappointed because despite doing her job perfectly well, she did not get due recognition. I had a tough time convincing her then. This time, when she showed some disinterest, I thought that she must have recollected last year's episode. I thought of convincing her to participate. So I asked her, “Shruthi, why don’t you choose what you want to be dressed as this time?”

Shruthi: I said that I do not want to participate
Me: But why?
Shruthi: It is no fun
Me: Look how excited Swathi is. She thinks that it is fun
Shruthi: That’s her view. I am not seriously considering

I was shocked at her reply

Me: Baby, I can dress you up as Tinker Bell (Tinker Bell is her favourite Disney character)
Shruthi: But I don’t want to participate
Me: Can you give me a genuine reason for not participating?

She was silent. I continued, “I don’t know if you remember but it happened once when we were in Bahrain when you were in your KG. You had given your name for ‘Fancy Dress’ competition and Swathi did not. As she saw me dressing you up that morning, she was also tempted and began crying telling that she wanted to participate too. I quickly gave her a role to play to stop her from crying. I don’t think I can do that again. I am sure you too will be tempted when I dress her up”.

Shruthi: I won’t be tempted.
Me: Are you sure?
Shruthi: Yes
Me: How do you say so?
Shruthi: I have been participating in this competition for a long time. I get dressed up, deliver some dialogue and judges do not award me any good marks. Firstly, I am not motivated to participate because of my past experience and secondly, there is no more fun in standing in a different costume in the school when most of the others would be dressed in their uniforms.

I was stunned to hear my seven year old girl speak like this. She no longer wants to be in the participating gang I guess. She is comfortable sitting behind with her friends to watch, comment and enjoy maybe. God! My girls are putting me in a shock every now and then by their gestures.

Finally, Shruthi was not tempted a bit. She kept up her words and watched patiently as I dressed Swathi as Anarkali. Shruthi held her sister’s hand with pride and hopped into the school bus that morning.

Spoon without a Lemon

Yet another sports event fascinated my little girl Swathi. And it was none other than ‘Lemon and Spoon’. I am sure all of you must be aware of how this game goes on. Kids are expected to tie their hands behind and walk forward with a spoon holding a lemon on their mouth. The person who reaches the finish point quickly without dropping the lemon on the way is considered to be the winner. If it falls anytime before you reach the finish point, they are considered to be disqualified.

My little girl does that well. She is extremely good at such things. She can move around quickly but I wasn’t sure how big the size of the lemon would be. Shruthi having a loose tooth was not quite sure how she could hold a spoon with a lemon on her mouth. Apparently, she was eliminated in the trial rounds and Swathi was selected for the event. There were four qualifying rounds and the fifth round was the final one. In the initial four rounds, she outperformed everybody (she was proud to have beaten some of the boys in her class) and came first every time.

When it came to the final round, the poor girl lost the game. She came home with pride and disappointment; pride for having come first in all the qualifying rounds and disappointment because she did not win. I encouraged her telling how glad I am to learn that she came first in many rounds.

She answered, “Amma, I will not get a certificate though”
Me: That is ok. I am glad you reached up to this level. The spirit lies in participating and not in winning.
Swathi: But I touched the finish line first
Me: Is it? In that case, you have won. Why do you say that you lost?
Swathi: I touched the finish line first but the lemon fell down in transit

I had to laugh silently this time. The moment the lemon falls down, in this game, you are supposed to stop moving further. I just imagined my little girl walking diligently with just a spoon in her mouth until the finish line. I knew that my laugh would spoil her day because as such, she had had a bad day. I just kissed her telling that it is all part of the game. She forgot about all these in an instant and started hopping all her way to her room.

Misconception

Soon after the exam fervour settled, sporty mood emerged into the minds of my girls. It was time for sports day at school. The gymnast and acrobat of our house (Swathi) was all excited about the event. She proudly announced the date when the sports event would be held at school.

I asked her, “So, what are the games you are interested in?”
Swathi: Running race
Me: Wow! That’s great. I am sure you would do well in that.

After a pause

Me: What are the other games that are conducted for the event?
Swathi: I remember. There was one more event but that is difficult
Me: What can be termed ‘difficult’ before attempting?
Swathi: I know that it is difficult
Me: What is it?
Swathi: I have seen Daddy doing it too Ma
Me (puzzled): Daddy doing it? What is it Swathi?
Swathi: I forgot the name
Me: Have your friends given their name for participation in that event?
Swathi: Yeah, a few
Me: Did they say that it is difficult?
Swathi: They don’t know it is difficult but I know it is
Me (with increased curiosity): Swathi, tell me the nature of the game. Do they carry a heavy ball and try to throw it? Or?
Swathi: No Ma. Haven’t you seen Daddy working with it during weekends?
Me: I don’t know what you are talking about
Swathi: Daddy carries a machine in his hand and makes noise out of it

I wondered for some time if it could be a vacuum cleaner but then it has been ages since my husband touched it. When did she notice something that I have not witnessed?

Me: Swathi, can I check with your teacher?
Swathi: No. I do not want to participate in it

I understood that she has some fear towards that event. But at the same time, I was curious to know what it was. I thought I will check with her teacher a bit later when she disappears from the scene.

Swathi: Ah! I remember the name now. It is drilling
Me: Drilling?
Swathi: Yes. Daddy does it on walls, doesn’t he?
Me: Yes, do they ask you to do drilling at school?
Swathi: Yes. They asked us “who all are interested in drill please raise your hands up”.

I burst into a heavy laughter and there sat my little girl sobbing because she felt insulted on this gesture of mine. I made her understand that drill in sports terminology means exercising our body in a rhythmic fashion in accordance to some music behind. She then smiled at me and told that if that be the case, she would be interested but then time had elapsed and she could not participate in that event.