Who is Greedy?

Almost every night, I read out some moral stories to my girls. Whether they follow it or not, I want to read out some morals to them and also how can they implement that moral in their practical life. Very recently, we covered the topic called ‘greed’. They were so excited about that particular topic mainly because they read the meaning of that word in their classroom. Immediately my girls said in chorus, “Ma! I know the meaning of greed. It is ‘excessive desire’.”

I appreciated them. I then quoted examples of greed. I told them that buying more and more toys when we already have lots is also an example of greed. When I read that story out, they also understood that one has to learn to be happy with what they have instead of brooding over things that they do not have.

The next day itself my girls were brooding over something that we did not get them and immediately I reminded her of the moral of the story that we read the previous night and told her, “this is called greed”. She understood and apologized up front. I was glad about the impact of the morals that I read out every day.

On the other hand, I have often noticed that every time I have a voice chat with my parents, my girls will come running to me with their complaints and problems not allowing me to talk with them at peace. I do not know why they demand my immediate attention every time I am on phone or when I am having a voice chat. It so happened today when I was having a voice chat with my parents, my girls interfered with all the problems they have with each other. Most of my time was spent in settling their disputes.

After completing the chat with my parents, I went to them. For some time, I sat next to them. They did not even bother to notice me. They were on their own drawing and writing something. I wondered why they do not have any allegations against each other when I am fully available. I have told them several times not to disturb me when I am on phone or chat but still they do. I felt it the right time to put an end to it and told them, “Girls! I really want to talk something to you both.”

Shruthi and Swathi: What’s that?
Me: Why is it that you always come to me with your problems when I am chatting?
Shruthi: Sorry Mommy. But Swathi is always irritating me.
Swathi was silent.
Me: Swathi, why do you choose a particular time to irritate her? Why don’t you irritate her now in my presence?
Swathi was still silent.
Me: Did you know that I was talking to my parents?
Both: Yes
Me: Look! You both have your parents with you all the time and you can talk with us whenever you want. But see, my parents are not with me.

The two behaved as though they understood what I was talking about. I thought I will gain their sympathy. But something different happened.

Swathi broke her silence. She said, “This is called greed.”

For a moment I sat puzzled. She continued, “You were reading out moral stories to us and teaching us how to be happy with what we have and now you are brooding over something that you don’t have.”

I burst into a heavy laughter. I also admired her innocence. On the other hand, I should also observe that my girls have the knack of blaming others even if they are wrong. :-)

The Comparison

It’s almost winter here and time for the skin to ask for more moisture. So I apply extra coat of Vaseline for my kids to retain some moisture in their body. My girls asked several questions on this as to why do our skin get dry during this period and why moisture is needed and the like. With my limited knowledge, I tried to tell them all that I knew.

Some days back, my girls came back home carrying a bird’s feather in their hand. They loved the very feel of its feathers.

One fine day, Swathi asked me, “How come a bird’s feather is soft in all seasons?”
Me: By nature it is soft
Swathi: Even without applying Vaseline, their skin remains soft, is it not? How is that possible?

For a moment I wondered what kinds of questions my kids have in their mind. What makes them compare their body with that of a bird? Do they feel that all God’s creations are similar? I then answered her, “it is because they cannot apply any moisturizer during any season that God has made their skin so soft during all seasons.”

She seemed to be convinced with the answer that I gave and I breathed a sigh of relief. But she did not stop there. She asked me, “Aren’t feathers a part of a bird’s body?”
Me: Undoubtedly
Swathi: Then how can it continue to fly after dropping this feather down? Does any of my body part fall down as I walk?

I was wondering why she is comparing again and again, but I found it my duty to find this answer out for her and came to know about molting. For Mothers who encounter such a question from their kid or for others who would like to know more about why a bird sheds a feather down, here is the answer that I collected from the internet.

Bird feathers do wear out. Once or twice a year, birds shed their old feathers and grow new ones. This process is called molting. Most birds molt in late summer or fall, after they have raised their young and before they migrate to their winter home.

As new feathers grow, they push out old ones. Most birds molt one feather from each wing at a time so they can keep their balance in the air. Many ducks and geese molt all flight feathers at once, so they can't fly for several weeks and must avoid predators by swimming away or hiding on islands. Most birds take weeks to grow a completely new coat of feathers.

Doubting God's Bountiful Resources

In order to inculcate some fear while doing something wrong, I just warned my kids that God is watching each one of us and has a record of what we all are doing. Immediately Swathi asked me with great wonderment, “All of us?”
Me: Yes
Shruthi: This world is too big and there are lots of people living. How can God watch each one of us?
Me: Didn’t you learn in Moral Science that He is all powerful, omnipresent and the like?
Shruthi: Yes
Me: So He is capable of watching each one of us
Swathi: Including you?
Me: Yes, including me

This moment I noticed some sense of relief in them. They probably got some assurance that they are not alone. To make it more understandable I tried explaining the same with illustrations that seem convenient for them. So I spoke, “God is having a chart for each one of us where He grades all our activities. If He notices you doing something good, He will stick a golden or a silver star on the ‘Good deeds’ column. If you do something bad, like not sharing things with each other or telling lies, then He will mark a big black dot on the ‘Bad deeds’ column. He will review it then and there to decide what you deserve. So we have to be careful with every step that we take since we are always being watched.”

Swathi (still not convinced that God could watch everybody): Will God watch adults also for sure?
Me: Yes, I said that He watches each one of us
Shruthi (from her part): Even strangers on the road?
Me: Yes. Nobody is excluded. ALL are being watched.

Finally, the biggest doubt emerged from Swathi’s mind. She asked me, “Does God have enough chart paper to record everybody’s good and bad deeds?”

No longer a Fancy

The date for ‘Fancy Dress’ competition was announced at school. But this time Shruthi showed the least interest in participating. Last year, I dressed Shruthi as a Fairy Godmother and Swathi as Japanese. Shruthi had a big dialogue to tell too but unfortunately, Shruthi did not get a prize but Swathi won. Shruthi was indeed disappointed because despite doing her job perfectly well, she did not get due recognition. I had a tough time convincing her then. This time, when she showed some disinterest, I thought that she must have recollected last year's episode. I thought of convincing her to participate. So I asked her, “Shruthi, why don’t you choose what you want to be dressed as this time?”

Shruthi: I said that I do not want to participate
Me: But why?
Shruthi: It is no fun
Me: Look how excited Swathi is. She thinks that it is fun
Shruthi: That’s her view. I am not seriously considering

I was shocked at her reply

Me: Baby, I can dress you up as Tinker Bell (Tinker Bell is her favourite Disney character)
Shruthi: But I don’t want to participate
Me: Can you give me a genuine reason for not participating?

She was silent. I continued, “I don’t know if you remember but it happened once when we were in Bahrain when you were in your KG. You had given your name for ‘Fancy Dress’ competition and Swathi did not. As she saw me dressing you up that morning, she was also tempted and began crying telling that she wanted to participate too. I quickly gave her a role to play to stop her from crying. I don’t think I can do that again. I am sure you too will be tempted when I dress her up”.

Shruthi: I won’t be tempted.
Me: Are you sure?
Shruthi: Yes
Me: How do you say so?
Shruthi: I have been participating in this competition for a long time. I get dressed up, deliver some dialogue and judges do not award me any good marks. Firstly, I am not motivated to participate because of my past experience and secondly, there is no more fun in standing in a different costume in the school when most of the others would be dressed in their uniforms.

I was stunned to hear my seven year old girl speak like this. She no longer wants to be in the participating gang I guess. She is comfortable sitting behind with her friends to watch, comment and enjoy maybe. God! My girls are putting me in a shock every now and then by their gestures.

Finally, Shruthi was not tempted a bit. She kept up her words and watched patiently as I dressed Swathi as Anarkali. Shruthi held her sister’s hand with pride and hopped into the school bus that morning.

Spoon without a Lemon

Yet another sports event fascinated my little girl Swathi. And it was none other than ‘Lemon and Spoon’. I am sure all of you must be aware of how this game goes on. Kids are expected to tie their hands behind and walk forward with a spoon holding a lemon on their mouth. The person who reaches the finish point quickly without dropping the lemon on the way is considered to be the winner. If it falls anytime before you reach the finish point, they are considered to be disqualified.

My little girl does that well. She is extremely good at such things. She can move around quickly but I wasn’t sure how big the size of the lemon would be. Shruthi having a loose tooth was not quite sure how she could hold a spoon with a lemon on her mouth. Apparently, she was eliminated in the trial rounds and Swathi was selected for the event. There were four qualifying rounds and the fifth round was the final one. In the initial four rounds, she outperformed everybody (she was proud to have beaten some of the boys in her class) and came first every time.

When it came to the final round, the poor girl lost the game. She came home with pride and disappointment; pride for having come first in all the qualifying rounds and disappointment because she did not win. I encouraged her telling how glad I am to learn that she came first in many rounds.

She answered, “Amma, I will not get a certificate though”
Me: That is ok. I am glad you reached up to this level. The spirit lies in participating and not in winning.
Swathi: But I touched the finish line first
Me: Is it? In that case, you have won. Why do you say that you lost?
Swathi: I touched the finish line first but the lemon fell down in transit

I had to laugh silently this time. The moment the lemon falls down, in this game, you are supposed to stop moving further. I just imagined my little girl walking diligently with just a spoon in her mouth until the finish line. I knew that my laugh would spoil her day because as such, she had had a bad day. I just kissed her telling that it is all part of the game. She forgot about all these in an instant and started hopping all her way to her room.

Misconception

Soon after the exam fervour settled, sporty mood emerged into the minds of my girls. It was time for sports day at school. The gymnast and acrobat of our house (Swathi) was all excited about the event. She proudly announced the date when the sports event would be held at school.

I asked her, “So, what are the games you are interested in?”
Swathi: Running race
Me: Wow! That’s great. I am sure you would do well in that.

After a pause

Me: What are the other games that are conducted for the event?
Swathi: I remember. There was one more event but that is difficult
Me: What can be termed ‘difficult’ before attempting?
Swathi: I know that it is difficult
Me: What is it?
Swathi: I have seen Daddy doing it too Ma
Me (puzzled): Daddy doing it? What is it Swathi?
Swathi: I forgot the name
Me: Have your friends given their name for participation in that event?
Swathi: Yeah, a few
Me: Did they say that it is difficult?
Swathi: They don’t know it is difficult but I know it is
Me (with increased curiosity): Swathi, tell me the nature of the game. Do they carry a heavy ball and try to throw it? Or?
Swathi: No Ma. Haven’t you seen Daddy working with it during weekends?
Me: I don’t know what you are talking about
Swathi: Daddy carries a machine in his hand and makes noise out of it

I wondered for some time if it could be a vacuum cleaner but then it has been ages since my husband touched it. When did she notice something that I have not witnessed?

Me: Swathi, can I check with your teacher?
Swathi: No. I do not want to participate in it

I understood that she has some fear towards that event. But at the same time, I was curious to know what it was. I thought I will check with her teacher a bit later when she disappears from the scene.

Swathi: Ah! I remember the name now. It is drilling
Me: Drilling?
Swathi: Yes. Daddy does it on walls, doesn’t he?
Me: Yes, do they ask you to do drilling at school?
Swathi: Yes. They asked us “who all are interested in drill please raise your hands up”.

I burst into a heavy laughter and there sat my little girl sobbing because she felt insulted on this gesture of mine. I made her understand that drill in sports terminology means exercising our body in a rhythmic fashion in accordance to some music behind. She then smiled at me and told that if that be the case, she would be interested but then time had elapsed and she could not participate in that event.

What causes hair loss?

My girls were roaming around without getting their hair groomed for a long time. When I noticed it almost by the end of the day, I immediately called them to come to me with a brush so that I can groom it properly. Getting overly engrossed with what they were doing, they simply refused to come to me.

Me: Girls! If you don’t come now, then it is going to be a big loss for you and not for me.
Girls: How?
Me: Just stop asking questions and come to me now.
Shruthi: Are we going out now?
Me: No. We are not.
Swathi: Then we can as well do it tomorrow.
Me: Why don’t you want to look presentable while at home?
Shruthi ran to fetch a comb and came to me. Being excited over her action, I began brushing her hair. The knots that got accumulated in her hair gave her enough pain but she still did not stop talking.

Shruthi: What will actually happen if I do not brush my hair?
Me: As you now see, lots of knots will get accumulated. Not only that, your hair will get badly damaged and you will lose hair little by little.
Shruthi: Knots, I agree but do not talk about hair loss.
Me (curiously): Why?
Shruthi: Whenever I have left my hair loose, I have never seen hair falling on its own to the floor but the moment you take a comb and start brushing, I see that hair gets curled up onto all sides of the brush. So hair loss is only due to combing.
Me : !!!!????

Little Joy

My kids were so excited when they got into the park during the first few days of our stay in Coimbatore. The significant improvement this time was that one of them was able to swing high on her own. The other one needed some assistance. They did all kinds of acrobatics on seeing the other kids there.

My kids noticed that they were growing some pets in the park viz., parrots and rabbits. A bunny soft toy is Swathi’s all time favourite. She has nurtured that toy for a long period by feeding some carrots which she swallows ultimately. Now on seeing some real rabbits, she was so keen on feeding some carrots to them. I promised her that we will feed them the next day.

The following day, both Shruthi and Swathi carried carrots to feed them. Their facial expression revealed some sense of responsibility, pride and excitement. I simply enjoyed looking at their faces. For the first time in their life, they are doing so. On our way from home to the park, Swathi’s carrot fell on the mud.

Swathi: Ma!
Me: What?
Swathi: The carrot fell down
Me: It’s ok
Swathi: Shall we go back home?
Me: Why dear?
Swathi: Let me wash it and come back
Me: It’s ok. There is no need to wash them now
Swathi: Why?
Me: The rabbits will accept it. You just keep walking
Swathi: This is unfair. How can I give the carrot that has fallen down?
Me: Swathi, the rabbits are anyway in the sand. The carrot that you are going to drop will fall on the sand. So it is ok.

Swathi was silent. Her face showed some kind of sympathy towards those creatures that cared least about hygiene and more about food. When she dropped the carrot, the rabbits jumped towards it greedily and gobbled it up so fast. A sense of satisfaction combined with smile was found in her face immediately. That little joy filled my kids’ minds.

Effect of EVS

I consider it a wise decision to have brought my kids here to India to spend their summer vacation. Sitting in the scorching heat of Abu Dhabi confined within the walls of the house would have been such a big bore for them and for me. I maybe wrong, but I feel that running around bare feet during all seasons unmindful of the pricks of hard stones; jumping and dancing in rain; walking down the streets at any time of the day are all enjoyment of the first grade. This may not be pleasurable to all kids but as of now my kids have great delight in doing all the above here in India.

It was a promise that they had taken from me before coming to India that I should take them to the neighbouring park everyday. Though I took them to the park, they seem to be unhappy over that since they are irritated by the mosquitoes that are greedy for fresh blood.

So park was a big flop and they are reluctant to go there. The next option was the pool. My kids hardly know swimming. But they wanted to soak themselves in the kids’ pool nearby. So I took them both to the pool just to make them happy. The girls were too shy to step into the pool semi clad. There was not a single soul in the vicinity. It was because I chose the afternoon time around 3 -3.30. I believed the water would be warm around that time. But because of monsoon, the water was cold. Swathi stepped into the pool first. Shruthi was a bit hesitant to step in. She was struck with a heavy doubt. The subject “Environmental Studies” has hit her brain so hard I guess that she emerged with a peculiar question that made me laugh.

Shruthi: Mommy, we forgot something!
Me: What?
Shruthi: Where is the cylinder?
Me: Which cylinder?
Shruthi: Don’t you remember what we learnt in EVS?
Me: What?
Shruthi: We learnt that divers carry oxygen cylinder on their back just to breathe. How will I breathe now?
Me (Laughing heartily within me): You don’t need it because you are not diving in.

Convinced with this answer she stepped in. I then explained to her the difference between swimming and diving and how different is just getting soaked in the water from swimming. They were somehow convinced that they were swimming I guess. Kids sometimes arise with strange questions that make us laugh. But of late, I have also noted that if I laugh, they get offended. But how can I remain without laughing when such a question is posed?

UNO re-born

I still remember the day when the game ‘UNO’ was introduced among our friends’ circle in Bahrain five years ago. We all (like kids) used to get gathered in a big circle to play the game. The only kid among the gang was my friend’s son Atul. He was very enthusiastic and we too shared the same enthusiasm when we played it. To keep my daughters from disturbing us, we used to give some old UNO cards to them so that they bite, chew and throw it everywhere.

The way we played UNO is unforgettable. We used to order Mirinda, Pepsi and dinner and used to have them alongside as we play the game. If we hear somebody call ‘UNO’ (which indicates that he has just one card left; which also means that he is close to victory), we consider it our responsibility to make that guy pick up more cards making him lose just by conspiring among the others. So because of this, one single game gets prolonged to as long as 20 – 30 minutes. And just imagine! We used to play for several hours together.

It has been quite some time since we stopped playing UNO since we discovered several other games. It is almost 10 months since I left Bahrain which means we are hardly getting together and hardly playing any games together. The main reason is that we miss our dear friends back in Bahrain. It is difficult to get such a group of friends again.

As we were shopping few days back, I discovered a pack of UNO cards stacked in one of the shelves. My husband and I were reminded of those days in Bahrain when we all used to play merrily. I just asked him if we can pick it up for which he said that it is no fun if it is played among two people. I said that I can coach our daughters into playing this. So I just picked them up and taught my kids how to play it. They found the game so interesting that they call my husband and me to play this often. The girls who were licking and biting these cards some years back are playing it with great zeal now. I was reminded of Atul who used to play this game with a great spirit. Now my kids are also playing them with the same fervour. I made them understand that it is just a game and that they should not cry when they lose. They have taken that piece of advice in the right spirit and convince each other on their loss telling “It’s just a game.” How I wish to play the same game with our Bahrain friends’ circle once again! This time, with my kids!

My kids are growing

As any other kids, my kids too were prone to infections very often when they were toddlers. So I always used to make it a point to home feed them. I had banned giving them outside food and I would give them hygienically prepared food at home. There were many of my friends too who used to prepare food with the same hygiene as I, so that I need not carry food when I visit their houses. But if I were to visit any other place, I either feed my kids before starting or carry food along with me so that I can give them at a later time.

But this practice continued for a very long time. My kids too started enjoying having the mashed food prepared exclusively for them so that they can easily swallow without giving work to their teeth. I later began getting worried about this since even if we wanted to have dinner at a restaurant, I have to prepare the same food for them, feed them, give them and then start to the restaurant. The fun of having food at a restaurant vanishes since I anyway have to work in the kitchen. My kids used to hate outside food. They never even had the appetite to taste restaurant food. That put me in greatntrouble. My friends too said that it was not an acceptable idea since my daughters had outgrown that age. They said that they better learn to eat outside else survival becomes very tough.

Fortunately for me, my daughters started eating idlis and dosas at a restaurant. So if I were to visit South Indian restaurants, I would be benefitted. After reaching Abu Dhabi, I decided that I would somehow make them eat outside. So I prepared all those dishes prepared in a restaurant at home and made them eat it little by little. They began to like them after some trials. Now, they have developed great fascination towards outside food. They are now eating Indian food in restaurants. I was greatly relieved last month, when they fully began to eat a wholesome meal at a restaurant.

Last night, we had been to a restaurant and my husband ordered a Chinese rice item and one of my daughters developed deep curiosity as to what he is eating and asked for the name of it and repeated it out to herself so that she can order it the next time we come there. She seemingly liked that rice and had a few spoons. She also checked what I was eating and asked if she can taste that too. What a development! I no longer have to carry boxes for them!!

Confusing Punishments

Last night, as I was laying the bed, I learnt that Shruthi hit Swathi because Swathi called her a ‘bad’ girl. Shruthi tried to patch up with Swathi since the latter wanted to complain about Shruthi to me. Shruthi apologized with her and also checked if it pained her and tried to stroke Swathi to ease off the pain but Swathi was so adamant that she would complain to me. Shruthi then followed Swathi as the latter approached me and whispered in her ears not to make a big issue out of it.

Swathi : Amma, Shruthi hit me.

I looked at Shruthi and I could figure out from her expressions that her whisper in to Swathi’s ears was about this.

Me: Shruthi! Why did you do that?

Shruthi: It is because she called me a ‘bad’ girl.

Me: Why would you beat her if she called you that way? Just like how she came to me, you could have also complained about her to me.

Shruthi was silent.

Me: As a punishment, you are going to sleep alone. Swathi will not sleep with you tonight. She will sleep with us.

Shruthi: But why?

Me: You got to know the value of a sister. Only if you miss her, you will understand the importance of a sister.

Shruthi: I already know about her importance. That is why I said ‘sorry’ to her and also tried to ease off her pain though I knew it wouldn’t have pained her much.

Me: No way Shruthi. I cannot allow this kind of physical interference. You are sleeping alone tonight.

Shruthi: But I want somebody next to me. I have a bad back too!

(My Mom complains of a bad back. I too have problem with my back and this girl is also complaining. I don’t understand! A 6 ½ year old child having back pain!)

Me: What back pain? You did not tell me about this!

Shruthi: Yes, it is paining.

Me: So if Swathi sleeps near you, will the back pain disappear?

Shruthi: Yes, she will massage.

Me: See! Do you now know how important it is to have a sister next to you? So miss her for a night. You will realize.

Shruthi: I am scared that monster would come and disturb me in the night.

Me: You should have thought about all these before hitting Swathi.

Shruthi: But, I did not know what kind of punishment you will give me.

It was an unexpected answer and I also realized that kids get confused as to what kind of punishment will be given at what times. Earlier, the only kind of punishment I used to subject them was ‘time out’. Of late, they started enjoying a time out session. So we began treating them to a different kind of treatment based on the incidents. No doubt, Shruthi was not left alone last night. In fact, I slept with her to ease her pain off. After few minutes, I just laughed at the entire episode. It happens every time I scold them. I also think if such punishments will really make them understand what they are doing. As a ritual, I punish them and they accept it diligently as a routine. Is there any meaning to the punishments that I subject them to? But all said and done, my punishments are never serious and even if I give them any punishment, I waive them off in no minutes. They are after all, my children!

Dinner with my kids

It was dinner time. My husband was busy with IPL match. So it was just kids and me at the table for dinner. Since Shruthi and Swathi’s interest towards finishing their homework seemed to decline, I thought I would initiate the topic of how education is so important to our lives. I thought if I make the concept of education very clear, I can make them realize the importance of concentrating on their day-to-day school assignments.

Me: Listen girls! I just wanted to tell you something for a very long time. I was just waiting for the right time to speak this up to you both.

Shruthi and Swathi: What's that?

Me: A career is very important for each one of us. To survive in this world, we all need to hold a decent job.

Shruthi: (She spoke as she contained the food in her mouth) - Then why is it that you are still at home? Why don’t you have a job?

Me: (I did not know how to deal with this unexpected question) - That’s because I now have the responsibility of taking care of you two at home.

Swathi: Then why are you applying for jobs?

Me: (Oh God! How come they know many things?) - That’s because I think that you guys are big enough to manage things on your own. That is why Daddy asked me to look for a job.

Shruthi: Mummy, tell me one thing – who should decide about my job?

Me: Undoubtedly you, darling!

Shruthi: Will my husband interfere and ask me to take care of my kids when I grow up?

Me: He need not interfere. You will willfully stay back if you have to take care of your kids. Sometimes you need not stay back either if you have a responsible person to take care of your kids.

Shruthi: Mummy, I am going to name my daughter “Latika”

Me: (These girls are moving away from the topic!) - Wow! That’s a good name!

Swathi: I will name my daughters Varsha, Shreya, Lalita and I have thought of more names. Did you like these names Ma?

Me: (Oh God!!!??) – Indeed, nice names! Now, let me come to the point. I mean to say that we all have to have a job in hand.

Shruthi: Ok, so?

Me: Only if you study well, you will get good job.

Shruthi: All who are having jobs were good students at school?

Me: (hope she doesn’t understand the reverse to be true and try to figure out that to be the reason why I am at home :)) – Yes. If we all study well, we will get good marks and if we get good marks, we will get a good job and if you get a good job, you will be paid well and you can buy anything you want with that money. Now, how does that shound?

Shruthi: That sounds nice but I have a trouble here.

Me: What is that?

Shruthi: I want to be a teacher and that too a drawing teacher and I don’t understand why a person who is going to be a drawing teacher should learn so many subjects like Maths, EVS, Moral Science, Computer Science and many others. Is it not enough if I learn to draw and maybe attend the Art class in Tarang?

[Tarang is an institute that teaches music, dance, art and such stuff and Shruthi has been asking my permission to join in the art class though she already is in music and dance]

Me: If you want to become a drawing teacher, then why would you learn music and dance? It is just like that.

Shruthi: I am learning them because a drawing teacher can sing at home and dance at parties. In fact, everybody should learn to dance.

(That is her theory probably - that everybody should learn to dance)

Me: Ok, leave that. You were once telling me that you want to be a Princess when you grow big. You changed that idea later on. Is it not?

Shruthi: Yes

Me: You also told me that you wanted to be a Physical Trainer in a school. You changed that too. Is it not?

Shruthi: Yes

Me: A child’s interest would keep on changing like this.

Swathi: When you were young, did you also have changing interests Mom?

Me: Yes, I too wanted to be a teacher and then I decided I would be a lawyer. Now again, coming to the point, when you turn 17 or 18, you would be able to clearly define what you want to become. So that is why we study the basics of all the subjects. That would be useful for us to choose what we want to become.

Shruthi: Maybe I will still say that I want to be a drawing teacher when I turn 18.

Me: That’s ok.

Shruthi: I have another problem here.

Me: Now what?

Shruthi: I haven’t heard of a teacher by name ‘Shruthi’

Swathi: That’s ok Shruthi. What is there in a name? Have you ever heard of a teacher by name ‘Jennifer’ before? And don’t we have a teacher by that name? So I think that’s not a problem.

(I was just laughing bending my head down)

Me: Shruthi, name is not a problem. What I want to say is that you girls are growing. I want you to be good at your studies so that you can choose your career at ease when you turn 18. For that, you need to be very serious with your day-to-day assignments and get good marks all through.

Shruthi: Ok

Me: What about you Swathi?

Swathi: I will also do my homework regularly.

Shruthi: (after a long pause) - Mom, I think you may be right. My interests are changing. Sometimes, I feel that I should be like Daddy working in a bank.

Swathi: Yes, Shruthi. Sometimes I too feel that I want to become a doctor.

Me :) :)

Shruthi: (after some time) - Mom! Will I be paid like Daddy when I become a drawing teacher?

Me: You will definitely be paid but not like Daddy.

Shruthi then began thinking deeply......

My Daughters - My Masters

My daughters – My Masters

I am not kidding. Life’s everyday problems seem to have a solution if I carefully observe my daughters’ approach to an issue. I am getting to learn a lot through them though not directly. Their behaviour is a living example for me to understand that life is not as complex as it seems but is only a pleasure to live in. There are several things that I have to learn from them.

1) A morning smile – I often fail to smile in the morning because of the loads of work I have to do in the morning hours. I carry all tensions within me and hence forget to smile. But their smile is my morning beverage. I may not always exchange a smile with them but I always am sure to receive one. Sometimes I wonder why I am too stingy to share some smiles with them in the morning hours.

2) Fresh start – My daughters (just like any other kids) never get reminded of what happened the previous day. Every day is a fresh day for them to live. They gaze at things as though they are getting to see it for the first time and admire it. I do get irritated at such a behaviour of theirs since I feel it is a waste of time. But they seem to find out a newer perception to the same thing when they view it again and again.

3) Honesty – Yes, all kids are honest or at least we can find out when they tell lies. At the same time, they cannot keep any secrets within them for a longer time.

4) Love for all – My daughters as of now have no preference for one over another. I am very happy about this point. They weigh everybody equally (and that includes me). They can miss anybody and still be happy. What a virtue is this!

5) Fighting and patching up – My daughters fight amongst themselves in such a way that I feel that I have to refer to parenting books to cover the topic ‘sibling rivalry’ but within no time they patch up leaving me in amazement.

6) Innocence – Their eyes gleam with innocence and their deeds just overflow in abundance with innocence. That is the best thing about them. They do not know what is to be spoken with whom. I once remember when one of them asked me loudly what my age was as we were shopping for clothes for me. She thought that the sizes mentioned there represents our age. Other people in the shop smiled at me and I too blushed. The beauty of a child is held intact as long as the innocence is retained I guess.

7) Care – I feel that my daughters’ care towards me is so genuine. They do not know to act or hide any feelings. They do things for me with care and decline to do it when they cannot spare that much care towards it. Whatever they do, is done with dedication.

8) Counseling – Sometimes I feel that my daughters can become better counselors. I am saying so based on one particular incident when they fully identified what the issue was and came up with the best solution and advised me to take things in the right way not making an issue out of it. I was stunned. At the same time I was glad.

I need not read scriptures to learn about virtues. I can just be with my kids and get a practical experience of a happy life. I am enjoying being their mother. They make me realize that happiness should be from within how much ever harsh the external surrounding may appear. Aren’t they my real masters?

Fancy dress competition?

“Who is the youngest of all Gods?”
“Why all Gods are looking beautiful?”
“Did the person, who drew the picture of God, actually see Him? If no, how does he know that God will look like this?”
“How can God who is just seen in a picture bless or punish us?”

These were the questions that my daughters raised about God some time back. Though I managed to give them an answer for these questions, they still were still not convinced about my answers.

But today, as I was explaining to them the story of Mahabharata, they seemed to be very much interested about Lord Krishna. At one place Krishna was referred to as omnipotent and in the other place as just a character. One of my daughters did not know the difference between Krishna and the Omnipotent. They asked me what the meaning of Omnipotent is. I said that it means God.

She then started thinking in a different angle I guess. She asked me – “Where is God?” This question is a difficult one to be explained to my 6 ½ year old daughter. But I have the responsibility of clarifying all her doubts to the best of my knowledge.
Me: God is everywhere.
Shruthi: But God is seen everywhere only in pictures!
Me: He is seen by us through those pictures but He is actually present in every atom around us.
Shruthi: How could Arjuna manage to see God?
Me: Arjuna was blessed.
Shruthi: Why God didn’t bless me?
Me: He didn’t bless me either.
Shruthi: If I want to see Him now, what should I do?
Me: You just pray with sincere heart. You might be blessed one day with his grace.
Shruthi: How Krishna will come to know about my prayers and how will He bless me?
Me: He will know. He is God.
Shruthi: What should I do if I want to see all the other Gods too?
Me: All Gods are one.
Shruthi: How come there are different Gods and different pictures of God?
Me: It is because God is one, but just that he assumes different forms.
Shruthi: Why do they come in different forms? Any fancy dress competition going on for them?
Me: :)

Karadaiyan Nonbu

Karadaiyaan nonbu has always been an interesting function at home. The intersection of two Tamil months viz., Maasi and Panguni is when this function is celebrated. A yellow colour thread is tied around every girl’s neck on this day. Usually in South Indian community, only married girls wear the sacred yellow thread around their neck. I still remember those days as an unmarried girl how I used to get embarrassed wearing this around my neck during school and college days. Unfortunately there were very few students in our entire school / college who belonged to the community that celebrates this function. The boys in our school / college had a gala time teasing me this day. The only thing I liked about this day was the sweet they prepare – Nonbu adai.

Nonbu adai is usually served with some butter topping. I simply loved to eat those yummy adais with lots of home made butter that gave a wonderful aroma. Until I got married, I did not care to learn how those delicious adais are made. The first karadaiyan nonbu after marriage was hardly celebrated because my husband and I received an invitation to lunch with his colleagues and boss in Le Meridian, Bahrain. So I cared the least to celebrate this. The second time, my MIL prepared them since I was under bed rest because of pregnancy. The third time, I tried to prepare these adais having my two little infants at home. It was a big flop! The adais came out to be scrambled and tasteless that I had to throw out the entire thing out in the garbage.

The fourth time, I happened to celebrate this in my house back in India. I wanted to see my Mom prepare it but then it did not happen though I tasted those delicious adais with home made butter again! The fifth time I began preparing them with some big hope but it was a bigger flop. It came out like a paste. I just cannot imagine what I did to make it into a paste consistency. My husband, who is equally fond of these adais, tasted a bit of that paste and went away without uttering a word.

The sixth time I was in my in-laws’ house where again I got to eat them without preparing. I simply considered myself lucky to get to eat them at least since I flopped every time I prepared. That year, I decided to learn how to prepare it by trying it leisurely on some other day so that I can gain experience. That too did not happen. The seventh and the eighth time, these adais were not prepared that day since on one occasion, my daughters fell sick and the next time, I fell sick.

Today is Karadaiyan Nonbu again. But what a magic! These adais turned out to be perfectly well this time without any hassle. I had those adais with lots of ‘lurpak’ butter. It tasted truly yummy! My kids too loved them.

Finally, my kids asked me the significance of this function. Actually this day is celebrated in commemoration of the victory of Sathi Savithri who fought with Yama – the Lord of Death and brought back her husband. So this day is celebrated praying for the longevity of their husband. But I do not know for what reason unmarried girls too celebrate this event. I did not know how to explain all these to my daughters. So I just told them that today is the most auspicious day for unmarried girls to pray for a good husband and married girls for the prosperity of their husbands. But they asked me yet another question – “When is that auspicious day for unmarried and married boys to celebrate this occasion?” I do not have an answer. Mythology is yet to provide me a story where husbands prayed for the longevity of their wives.

Eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth

Some days back, my husband and I were having a discussion. One of my daughters intervened and asked what were we talking about. I smiled at her and said, "Nothing for you darling. You may not understand. Just go back and play." She gave me a bizarre look. The meaning of her look seemed to me thus - "What is there for you both to discuss without my intervention and what the hell have you got to discuss that I cannot understand?"

A couple of days back my daughters were talking something from the hall and I couldn't hear them since I was operating the mixie. I thought that the two were talking to me. So soon after I was done with the mixie, I went to them and asked, "What?"
Shruthi: What "what"?
Me: What do you want to say?
Shruthi: Nothing
Me: I heard you both talking while I was operating the mixie
Shruthi: Oh that?! That was anyway not meant for you
Me: @#?! What? Not meant for me?
Shruthi: Yes. Not meant for you. We were discussing something about our school and friends that which you will not know or understand.

Oops! Was this a tit for tat for what I did a few days back? I got to watch every step I take, I wish they are not going to turn out to be revengeful in the future!!

Staying in touch

Yesterday was my daughters' last day at school. They would soon be moving to the next grade and probably miss out some friends as a result of the shuffle they might do for the next academic year. My daughters joined this school just 5 months back and it is amazing to learn that they made good friends in this short period and because of them they loved to go to school everyday.

Last evening we had been out for a brief shopping and as we were coming back home, my daughters asked me for my mobile phone. I asked them the reason. They told me that they have obtained the telephone numbers of most of her friends to call them during these holidays. I was surprised to learn about the measures they have already started adopting to stay in touch with their friends. Friends have already started playing a great role in the minds of my young daughters. I just told them that they can call their friends the next day since it was too late last night.

The real test of patience

The next twenty five days are going to be a virtual test of my patience. Yes, my kids’ school has closed and the next academic year is about to begin by April 5th and guess what – my kids will move on to Grade II from next month. How time flies! I still remember the day when they were born. I have heard that it is quite normal for any child to cry as soon as they are born. But my kids made a brief hum. I asked the nurse if it is clinically termed as ‘cry’ and she smiled at me and answered in the affirmative. For many days after birth, I hardly heard them cry that I began to panic. But now I realize that they were God given days of calm before a storm and now I am in the midst of the deafening sound of the storm.

Naturally restless am I. I just cannot sit at a place watching TV or doing nothing. How will I allow my kids to remain at home doing nothing? So I am seriously planning out a schedule for their holidays with loads of interesting activities for Mommy and kidos. I have planned for some brain activities, colouring stuff, creative paper-craft, reading activities, and many such things. They are pretty much excited about their holidays. I will hardly have any time to sit and relax! But it is part of the game. All said and done, it is indeed a wonderful experience to be a Mother. I have to prepare a ‘To do’ list to equip myself before we start our holiday programme.
I should be prepared with lots of goodies for them to munch
I got to buy glitter glue
I need to buy some small toys as a reward for both of them at the end of every week.

I have to bear many things in mind before drafting the schedule of activities for the holiday. –
I should allot too many snack breaks in their holiday schedule
I should not ruin their holiday fun by getting annoyed over their silly pranks
I should imbibe patience in my mind
I should imbibe patience in my mind
I should imbibe patience in my mind.

Let me play and enjoy with them for the next twenty five days.